Coming Home To Joy

COMING HOME TO JOY

BY Jasmine Azul Sanchez

The joy of releasing what is not mine 

The joy of being in a safe home 

The joy of my dad seeing me grow up 

The joy of seeing old friends again and chismiar

The joy of walking into the hospital room and seeing my tio’s face light up

The joy of seeing my nephew laugh 

The joy of coming home to my dog

The joy of eating around the table with mis tías 

The joy of being on a real vacation with mi mami

The joy of doing my nails 

The joy of finding new friends  

The joy of seeing my cousin be sober and actually mean it this time 

The joy of hearing Mariah Carey with him again, just like when I was 9 

The joy of seeing my family come together for birthdays again 

The joy of getting flowers 

The joy of falling in love over and over again with my partner

6 years and I still get butterflies 

Looking back, I was angry, confused, and lost

I never thought I would live in this truth because I was in so much pain 

Pero mi papá me dejó 

“Estás cosechando lo que sembraste, mija.”

And finally 

I feel like my prayers have been answered. 

From Azulita to Azul 

I am coming home to me. 

Returning to my authentic self full of alegría 

I made it through the storm

And this time I choose peace. 

I choose joy. 

Even when the world wants me to do otherwise.