THE SOURCE

THE SOURCE

By Mayra Flores

I always felt disconnected

From my neighbors and my friends

From the kids at my school

And the families on TV

A constant gap

A missing piece

A reminder of otherness

Ni de aquí, ni de allá.

Always grasping for the intangible

A feeling that left me like

A seed in the wind

Looking back, not knowing where

We’ve been

The history books we read

In class talked about

Generations of people

tied together by the

Bonds of lineage

Communities of our Indigenous

Peoples, connected to the

Earth, to the animals, to

Each other

Averígualo.

I yearned for this connection.

My parents’ severed roots

From their beloved México

The Pozo Santo where my mom

Swam with her brothers

Or La Plaza where my dad sold 

Fruta to the faithful after church

Replanted on unwelcoming soil

And thriving nevertheless

despite the trauma

Always smiling, lifting me up

¡Mija, tú lo puedes tener todo!

The buds began to take

In the black asphalt below

The movie screens of

My beloved Pulga

The sun was still slumbering

When our Orange van

Drove up to our designated

Space every weekend

The Filipino family 

Across the way would

Always wave to us

As we set up, offering

A hand or a watchful eye

The White man’s toddler

From the organic honey stand

Would hobble over, arms

Outstretched to give 

my mom a messy hug

And the fruteros unpacking

Their trucks, calling out

The prices, the quality

Would always stop -

¡Buenos Días Don Jesús! 

We grew together, on

Those hot summer days

Drinking agua de coco 

While finishing pages 

Of homework alongside 

the constant disconnect 

from my peers

I found myself in

Uncharted territory, once again

Places my parents had never been

The halls of a university, the 

cacophony of a newsroom, the 

screaming silence of a boardroom

Thirty six hours of my

Body breathing, breaking

Surrounded by mi mami,

Mi hermana y mi prima

Giving way to the fruit

That would connect us all

To this space

Dark eyes reflecting ours,

Firmly rooted, their place

Cemented in confidence

Securely tethered to me.

Al fin, amanecieron nuestras raíces.